9 Reasons why People Stay in an Unhappy Marriage by apnahumsafar.com 01814640041

The following are nine reasons that people choose -either consciously or unconsciously – to stay in an unhappy marriage: by apnahumsafar.com  ( best matrimony and matrimonial services provider in India and best marriage bureau services provider in Punjab )

1 – They Are Afraid to Be Alone

At some level, most of us harbor a fear of being alone. We crave love, acceptance and companionship. And so even if a marriage is miserable, it may seem preferable to stay with the devil you know that risk being alone and unable to find someone new.This becomes especially true with longer-term marriages. After spending years or decades together, you may have become dependent upon your partner for certain things and the thought of not having them to depend on becomes daunting. If the marriage is more unfulfilling than actively agonizing, the risk of this trade-off may not seem worth it. Furthermore, if the marriage is  founded on an anxious attachment style, the act of grasping becomes more important that who you’re holding on to.

2 – For the Sake of the Family

It is not uncommon for couples to elect to stay together for the sake of the children. Whether to avoid the emotional upheaval of divorce on the family or to maintain the family structure, the children’s needs are placed before the happiness of the couple. Sometimes this is permanent and other times it simply delays the decision to split until the children have grown. This motivation can extend beyond the children. Sometimes people cannot bear the thought of losing the connection with their extended family, which has taken them in as one of their own.A divorce impacts far more people than simply the two who exchanged the vows. And sometimes we choose to put the well-being of others
ahead of our own.

3 – To Maintain a Lifestyle

We are familiar with the idea of an unhappy marriage that is sustained on life support so that one or both of the partners doesn’t have to face a change in financial status. Yet that is not the only reason that marriages are maintained to avoid a shift in lifestyle. If both people are content with the entirety of their lives – home, extended family, friends, jobs, etc. – save for their marriage, they may reach the decision that they are willing to sacrifice a happy marriage for a happy life. And there is truth that divorce often brings a dramatic change in financial and social status that may never be fully recouped. And for some, the trade-off of staying unhappily married becomes an intentional trade-off.

4 – Because of Religious or Cultural Beliefs

For some, the decision to divorce means also divorcing themselves from the beliefs that have been instilled in them since childhood. Divorce may be perceived as sin no matter the circumstances or the dissolution of a marriage may bring immeasurable shame to a family. In these situations, divorce may be more painful than staying in an unhappy marriage. Divorce means a decision to deny your core beliefs and risks being ostracized from your family or community. So as long as the marriage is not an abusive one, staying may be the better choice.

5 – Inertia or Habit

We are creatures of habit. All too easily, we do what we have always done, resisting change and bemoaning the effort inherent in forging a new path. We become accustomed to our surroundings, even when they are detrimental. Once seated, we have a tendency to stay. For many in an unhappy marriage, they may not even be consciously aware that they are in a bad marriage. They are simply sleepwalking through life, acting without thought and reacting out of routine. Those that are on automatic pilot stay in their marriages, not out of intention, but out of inattention.

6 – Fear of Judgment

Those that choose to divorce definitely face judgment from others. We may be viewed as weak, impulsive or unwilling to put in the hard work and persevere. If you’re concerned about the negative response from others, you may choose to stay quietly unhappy than risk the public humiliation. We not only fear the judgment of others, we also want to avoid self-judgment when we believe that we have failed. Few of us go into marriage with the thought of divorce on our minds. And it can be difficult to admit that we make a mistake – either in our choice of mate or in how we treated them once married. And so sometimes, it seems safer to stay in denial.

7 – A Belief They Cannot Do Any Better

When you struggle to love yourself, you struggle to understand what you deserve. And if you’re in an unhappy marriage where your partner consistently dismisses or belittles you, this insecurity will only grow. Sometimes we stay in a bad situation because we believe that we deserve to be unhappy or perhaps even punished for some perceived wrongdoing or shortcoming. And that becomes even more true when we listen to our partner’s voice more than we trust our own.

8 – Because They Don’t Want to Cause Pain

One of the hardest things in life is to look into the face of someone you care about as you tell them something that will cause them pain. And it’s even harder if you’re the source of the pain. Sometimes people stay in an unhappy marriage because they would rather take the pain upon themselves than to transfer it to another.

9 – A Fear of Retaliation

One of the saddest reasons that some elect to stay in an unhappy marriage is that they fear the retaliation of their spouse if they choose to end the marriage. Perhaps the spouse has threatened to withhold financial support, isolate the other parent from the children or even suggested bodily harm. No matter the threat, it is a type of marital terrorism used to imprison the other. If this is your situation, please seek guidance before you assume that you are stuck.

Ultimately, the decision if – and when – to end a marriage is a highly personal choice. If you’re struggling with that decision, here are 9 questions to ask yourself.


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For a Successful Marriage Life!

Marriage is a fear not just for women but also for men. Men, as well, take multi fold responsibilities and build many plans and dreams on the corner of their heart. While a woman thinks of how to build her family, a man becomes lost in thoughts as in how to balance his finances and still doesn’t fail to make every member in his family happy. The real beauty they’re! For a happy marriage, it needs effort from both, the men and women. There are some tips for successful marriage life by apnahumsafar.com

Adjustment.

Respect each other’s choice regardless of who is right or who is wrong. You’re not into a war to decide who wins. It’s a feeling and a different idea from both sides. When one is so strong with what they say, don’t keep arguing on the thing. It’s absolutely fine to adjust and tap on their back. Value your relationship more than your ego.

Argue and Fight, but Bounce Back.

No matter how well things go between you both constantly, there will be instances where both of you will lose your mind and start arguing. It’s natural. Argue for a very short time and try to resolve the problem as soon as possible. If it feels like never-ending, both of you stop it right there and give it some time. Either one of you will understand and bounce back to normal, which will make the other understand. Things said calmly has more power to solve fights.

Be Best Friends at First Place.

This is more important. Be each other’s bestest friends. Do all that a friend does. A tease, a prank, a care, a love, and crack every possible lame jokes and laugh. Literally laugh! Lock your phone and leave the social media behind and talk looking at each other’s face. Smile and say things. Discuss about anything and nothing. It makes your relationship stronger day by day.

 Appreciate Each Other.

Even if they look bad, appreciate them, their looks, and all the little things they do. Even if there are lots of people to admire and appreciate them, they’ll look for your comment and feeling about them. Give all your love, hug them, and appreciate with all your heart.

Trust him/her. Always!

This is the foundation to build a relationship in a more mature way. Good or bad happenings, always believe your partner if you’re sure that they won’t go beyond the limits, because that’s how you have always known them from the beginning. Suspecting is a disease. Once it becomes stronger, nobody, not even you, can save your relationship. It’s like losing a real treasure for a useless imagination.

 Little Space and Privacy.

Fight as crazy as you could. But never take it to the ears of anybody. Anger and fight make you forget about your partner’s good things they possess. It is the time where you puke out all the shitty words against each other. Never ever let anybody know about it. Your fights resolve within hours but gossips go on forever. Don’t let anyone label you both as “Bad”. It’s a disrespect you show toward your relationship.

 Being Grateful and Being Sorry.

They say it’s not necessary to say ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ in a relationship. False. If is important to say ‘thank you’ for every little good thing. And, say sorry even when you make the slightest mistake.

Be Honest even when it’s Hard.

If you ever decide to commit yourself in a good life, be truthful to yourself and loyal to your spouse. Mistakes are fine. But whatever you do, let them know and never repeat it henceforth. Trust is pure and being trusted is valuable. Don’t lose that.

 Remember, Everything has a Solution.

No fight is worthy to extend it long enough or blow it huge. Everything is solvable. Sit, analyze, and talk to each other. Don’t jump to conclusions or imagine to yourself all the unwanted stuff as it will lead to unexpected misunderstandings between you both.

Be Kind to Each Other.

I know it’s more tedious to watch our words at the heat of moment. But yes. Be careful of what you say. Be kind. No matter what, be kind. Even the simplest swords of hurtful words from you can pierce them deep. It would turn into a long-lasting guilt if the one you love shed tears because of you. Be careful of what you do or say!

Marriage is a beautiful lifetime commitment. Take up the process without fear. It’s a life thriller with twists and turns. Hold hands and walk together. Carry each other with love. Hug them. Raise one another. Watch them succeed. Be their pillar. Being with that one person, you can win this world. Be better and build to be the best. Because, Love is all that you need. Love beyond limits! ?

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Five Romantic Tips For Women To Keep The Spark Alive In Their Married Life

"The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s green where you water it."


True indeed! The grass is not greener on the other side by itself but it’s the efforts that you put into watering it that makes it greener. The case is no different with marriage. The most successful marriages do not happen by themselves, they require efforts and dedication to become the very model of marriage. Whether you are married for a month, a year, a decade or even more, it is normal for you to complain about the initial spark being lost over time. Efforts need to be put in by both, the husband as well as the wife, to keep this spark from fading away. Below, we have compiled five tips for the doting wives to bring the spark back in their married lives by www.apnahumsafar.com . Read on to know them.

1.    Surprise Your Spouse :
We all love surprises, don’t we? We’re not talking about surprising them with those extravagant and expensive gifts but the little things that can help you bring the spark back in your marriage. You can leave romantic notes for them on the fridge door, buy their favorite  chocolate, send flowers to their workplace or home, dress up for them, send them a seductive snap, cook their favorite food, the list is endless, what matters is you find out what your husband desires and take him by surprise with your romantic gesture. Your darling husband would definitely love you for the extra effort and would shower you with his love in return.

2.    Plan Romantic In-House Dates :
Okay, this may take some extra efforts but the results will totally be worth it. Turn your house into a
romantic date site with scented candles and flowers of your sweetheart’s choice. Cook his favorite food and dress up in your best outfit to sway your husband off his feet. Send your kids away for one night and reserve the entire house for just the two of you. Your husband would certainly be swooned over by this gesture of yours. If you are not the cook type person, reserve a seat for the two at his favorite restaurant or  order food online. Plan these dates at least once every month to keep the spark in your married life alive.

3.    Experiment Under The Sheets :
As time flies, so does the enthusiasm to try new things in bed. This can lead to the loss of spark from your married life. In order to keep the spark alive, it is imperative that you start experimenting under the sheets. Invest some money in some sultry and inviting clothing and dress up for him before going to bed. Don’t shy away from making the move and keep your partner excited for the night. Discuss his fantasies and try them out under the sheets. Make him yearn to come back home to you every night to keep the spark that was there during the matchmaking times alive.

4.    Institute One Zero-Distraction Hour:
Our lives have certainly become surrounded by technology which distracts you from enjoying the
sweet pleasures of married life. Smartphones have certainly become the biggest source of distraction in everybody’s life but life wouldn’t end if you put it down for one hour each day. By instituting a policy of one zero-distraction hour each day, you can spend some quality time with your beloved life partner. The ideal time for incorporating zero-distraction hour is before bed and during breakfasts. Make use of this time to bond with your hubby and strengthen your relationship. Talk about the day and plans about it during this time, watch his favorite movie or game together or go out for a walk in the garden to make the best use of this time and keep the spark in your married life alive.

5.    Keep His Opinions In Mind :
Whether you are preparing for the meal or making any household decision, keep your partner’s opinions in mind. Ask for his opinions from time to time to let him know that you care about his interest. Even while you are shopping for your dresses, tag him along and try clothes for him to know his opinion. Make him realize that his opinion matters to you and let him feel special. Let him
know that he is important in your life and he would certainly feel the same for you.

Bringing the spark back in your married life is not as complicated as people make it. All you need to do is put all your heart and follow the tips mentioned above to bring it back in your married life. Don’t let the demands of your daily chores overwhelm you to the point where you find it
hard to connect to your loving husband. Bring back the spark and keep it alive in your marriage by following the aforementioned simple tips.best of luck to all couples from apnahumsafar.com (best matrimony and matrimonial website in India).

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Five Shot Tips To Live a Long And Happy Married Life

Marriage symbolizes permanence  but often we see cases of broken marriage. Sometimes, a couple deeply in love, couldn’t survive their marital bond for a longer duration just because they lack in knowing small tips on how to enjoy married life. Marriage is a bond that needs to be nurtured by both the partners with the same kind of energy and positivity. If you also want to know how to strengthen your togetherness and live happily ever after, read these 5 sure great tips to live a long happy married life by apnahumsafar.com

1. Switch between roles of wife-husband or friends.....
For a happy married life, you need to understand that living the role of wife-husband is as important as living the roles of true friends. Taking important decisions as partners and having fun as true best friends are like having the best of everything. A good best friend can be a great partner and vice versa a good partner can be a best friend. Staying only wife-husband for each other would kill all the fun and bring monotony to the relationship.

2. Maintain harmony and honesty, side by side.....
A great relationship definitely gets strength from transparency; however, you need to be cautious that you aren’t hurting your spouse. A fine balance in being honest but not hurting your partner is very important. They say truth is always bitter, but you can’t afford to let your relationship go bitter, so ensure that your frank opinions are presented artfully. Instead of a direct point out on increased weight of your partner, you can be artful and initiate the discussion that how exercising and walking together can help you steal some quality time and strengthen your bond.

3. Take care of him/her.......
Usually said that love is all about caring for the person you love. Indeed true, but if you tend to ignore yourself in taking care of our spouse, somehow it doesn’t work that well. Being concerned about your partner’s needs, wants, health etc., is important and make your relationship more beautiful but if you aren’t taking care of yourself, you will end up losing the overall bond. Happiness starts from within so if you wish to see your partner happy and healthy, you first need to be that.

4. Full fill Physical needs as well as emotional needs......
One of the most important aspects of marital life belongs to the couple’s sex life. You must have read a lot about how sex makes life and relationship happier and healthier and we don’t deny that. But sex only for maintaining a routine wouldn’t do that magic. Emotional satisfaction is the key to a happy love sex life as well as a happy love married life.

5. Give space and give time too.....
A thin line between giving time and giving space usually gets misread by couples. While few couples believe in possession, giving maximum time to their partner, some other prefer to give space in a relationship, but only wise couple know how to hit a balance between giving space and giving time. Spending all the time with your partner can be as dangerous as giving a lot of space without realizing the void in communication. Every couple should spend some time with friends but not at the cost of their special time. Hit balance between "me time" and "we time".

For a happy married life you need to be friends for lifetime. Maintain transparency but don’t hurt, be concerned about your partner but don’t forget yourself, have a happy healthy sex life but don’t ignore emotional needs and last but not the least, learn the science of holding and letting go. All these tips are based on the opinions taken from happy couples who have spent many years of togetherness and still celebrating their love each day.

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Five Ways To Celebrate Christmas With Your Life Partner

“Christmas, Christmas time is here, time for joys and time for cheers. We can hardly stand the wait,please Christmas, don't be late.”

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Christmas time is around the corner and we certainly cannot wait to celebrate the festival with pomp and gaiety. While every year the houses are cleaned, lights set, Christmas trees selected and decorations done, here’s an exciting plan for the couples to celebrate their Christmas in a different manner this year. This year the couples can step out of their hustling-bustling crazy schedule of the Christmas preparations and try something new. Whether they are just engaged, newly married or completed several milestones in marriage, this Christmas should be all about going the extra mile to add romance in the love life. The five ways discussed below would help you fill your marriage with love and happiness this Christmas and have a merry time with your partner by apnahumsafar.com best marriage bureau and matrimony/matrimonial website in India

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 1. Reminisce The Memories Together :

        Christmas is not simply about creating memories but more about reminiscing the good old times spent together. The Christmas times fill people with memories and nostalgia and as a couple, you should make the most of this time and remember all the good times you’ve spent together.You can put on different pictures of the old memories, write hand-written letter recollecting the best memories of the past year, go on the regular cafe where you went earlier or simply watch the first movie you saw together and snuggle up together.

    2. Cook The Christmas Meal Together :

Everyone would agree that Christmas feast is one of the best meals of the year. To fill your Christmas with love, get into the kitchen and start cooking the Christmas dinner together. Cook up a succulent Christmas dinner together to not only fill your dinner with romance but also add spice to your entire day. Start off with a Christmas appetizer like stuffed mushrooms, meatballs, pretzels, chestnuts etc. Go for a traditional main course like a stuffed turkey, roast goose etc. Don’t forget to bake a delectable Christmas cake together to add sweetness to your marriage. vegetarian can cook tasty and best veg dishes....

    3. Plan A Christmas Holiday:
       
Nothing beats the fun of going on holidays for Christmas. As a couple, you can take off from all the work and plan a holiday together. Holidays are the best way to reconnect with each other without any distractions and let the love blossom. Be it GOA,  SHIMLA, MANALI or ANY DISCO, choose the location both of you love and head to that place. Plan ahead with your partner in mind and make special arrangements for Christmas to surprise your beloved. This will make your Christmas holidays even more romantic.

    4. Go With The Family Traditions :
 While many couples decide to make their own traditions on Christmas, there are others who love to follow the same old family traditions every year without fail. This is a great way to look back on the past and realize how the two of you have grown together as a married couple. Whether it is watching a vintage movie, decorating a live Christmas tree, becoming a Santa or going for caroling, cherish the family traditions and follow them on this Christmas Eve together.

 5.  Volunteer For Social Work Together :
       
Christmas is all about spreading love and what better way to spread love and happiness than volunteer for some social work. The satisfaction and happiness that one can get from helping the needy on this pious occasion cannot be compared with anything. Volunteer to help the ones in need and get showered with special blessings on this Christmas.You can go to an orphanage, old age home or even on the streets with your partner to help the poor and needy on this day. There are various gift programs for kids, special dinner preparations for the poor etc., and you can become a part of these.

Make your Christmas memorable by doing something different this year with your beloved partner. While the list of ways to make Christmas special as a couple is endless, these were the top five ways we feel can fill your Christmas with love, happiness, and obviously romance.

APNAHUMSAFAR.COM  (best matrimony and matrimonial website) wish this Christmas fill your married life with love, joy, and eternal happiness. Merry Christmas!

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Lord Ganasha | Ganesh chaturthi

apnahumsafar.com is best, free matrimonial, matrimony web site in punjab and india wish you happy ganesh chaturthi.  Ganesh chaturthi is one of the most important festival of Hindu's and celebrated in different parts of country. This festival is generally falls in the month of august or September. It is 10 days long festival an it differs from  place to place. Hindu people bring idol of lord Ganesha to their homes and worship it.
                                                                          The place where the idol is supposed to be
places is filly decorated with flowers, colorful papers.If you are planing to em-place the Ganesha  idol at home then first clean the place and decorate with flowers. No puja is complete without offering modak to Ganesha, this is know as his  favorite sweet, other dishes which are also offering like barfi, laddu, peda, sundal. People also believe that  during this period Ganesh ji visits the home of his devotees and bring prosperity and good fortune with him.
                                                                          The ganesh puja is performed in a special manner.
 All puja is performed with clean body and pure mind. So try to keep things simple, pure and focus on puja. During the puja offer all the food items to the lord Ganesha. The offering should include items like  modaks, laddu, coconet, coconet berfi, kheer and various fruits. His favorite food modak and you can't ignore this important sweet.
                                                                         This ceremony (puja) is performed in evening.
The idol of the lord Ganesha is carried to a sea or some water body for immersion. It is a very important part of puja  of Ganesh puja. The Ganesha idol is immersed in the water with some coin........apnahumsafar.com is best and free matrimonial, matrimony, Punjabi marriages, Punjabi matrimony, online matchmaking,shadi,  marriage bureau web site in jalandhar, jammu, Chandigarh, Punjab and India.....................