Man and Wife

Recently I went to a wedding, an Indian wedding.
The groom came on a white mare with a Baraat.
He was dressed in a dazzling Achkan;
and wore a Pagdi, having a brooch in the middle.
The bride was dressed in red and green,
with shimmers and stars attached to the length.
Their families wore glitters;
the celebrations were huge.
Weddings are special, they bond families together.
They shower love, let us trust and spread utmost happiness.

Let’s celebrate happiness with others
So, the bride and the groom entered the open lawn during the Kanya Aagaman;
tears rolled down the cheeks of bride’s mother;
as she saw the bride and the groom coming with held hands

They stood on the stage for Jai mala;
and exchanged the flower garlands as they looked into each other.
The bride was nervous;
but smiled throughout as the invitees met them on stage.
The photographer clicked and video grapher shot their memories.
The dinner was served with hundreds of dishes,
guests were all smiling and laughing.
The clock struck dawn,
Then only remained close friends and family.

It was past dawn, when the time came.
Under the stars, sacred fire was lit,
in the presence of Agni Deva,
Saath Phere were taken, the seven circumambulations.
The specific vows were recited with each circuit.
The depth of the phere were eternal foundation of the relationship,
The bride and groom circled around the fire,
where the bride led the first four sacred rounds,
and; they prayed for nourishment and pure food as they took the first round .
they prayed for health and prosperity in their second round,
third, they prayed to walk together for wealth,
fourth, was for love and respect,
fifth, they prayed for noble children,
sixth, they prayed for peace
seventh, they prayed for companionship, trust and loyalty.

The groom put Sindoor,
coloring the bride’s forehead vermilion red,
calling her his, accepting and respecting her being.
and finally tied Mangalsutra in her neck,
the symbol of marriage.

and that’s how wedding happened,
when Pandit ji said, “Vivah Sampan hua“
That was the time, when they became Man and Wife.

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9 Reasons why People Stay in an Unhappy Marriage by apnahumsafar.com 01814640041

The following are nine reasons that people choose -either consciously or unconsciously – to stay in an unhappy marriage: by apnahumsafar.com  ( best matrimony and matrimonial services provider in India and best marriage bureau services provider in Punjab )

1 – They Are Afraid to Be Alone

At some level, most of us harbor a fear of being alone. We crave love, acceptance and companionship. And so even if a marriage is miserable, it may seem preferable to stay with the devil you know that risk being alone and unable to find someone new.This becomes especially true with longer-term marriages. After spending years or decades together, you may have become dependent upon your partner for certain things and the thought of not having them to depend on becomes daunting. If the marriage is more unfulfilling than actively agonizing, the risk of this trade-off may not seem worth it. Furthermore, if the marriage is  founded on an anxious attachment style, the act of grasping becomes more important that who you’re holding on to.

2 – For the Sake of the Family

It is not uncommon for couples to elect to stay together for the sake of the children. Whether to avoid the emotional upheaval of divorce on the family or to maintain the family structure, the children’s needs are placed before the happiness of the couple. Sometimes this is permanent and other times it simply delays the decision to split until the children have grown. This motivation can extend beyond the children. Sometimes people cannot bear the thought of losing the connection with their extended family, which has taken them in as one of their own.A divorce impacts far more people than simply the two who exchanged the vows. And sometimes we choose to put the well-being of others
ahead of our own.

3 – To Maintain a Lifestyle

We are familiar with the idea of an unhappy marriage that is sustained on life support so that one or both of the partners doesn’t have to face a change in financial status. Yet that is not the only reason that marriages are maintained to avoid a shift in lifestyle. If both people are content with the entirety of their lives – home, extended family, friends, jobs, etc. – save for their marriage, they may reach the decision that they are willing to sacrifice a happy marriage for a happy life. And there is truth that divorce often brings a dramatic change in financial and social status that may never be fully recouped. And for some, the trade-off of staying unhappily married becomes an intentional trade-off.

4 – Because of Religious or Cultural Beliefs

For some, the decision to divorce means also divorcing themselves from the beliefs that have been instilled in them since childhood. Divorce may be perceived as sin no matter the circumstances or the dissolution of a marriage may bring immeasurable shame to a family. In these situations, divorce may be more painful than staying in an unhappy marriage. Divorce means a decision to deny your core beliefs and risks being ostracized from your family or community. So as long as the marriage is not an abusive one, staying may be the better choice.

5 – Inertia or Habit

We are creatures of habit. All too easily, we do what we have always done, resisting change and bemoaning the effort inherent in forging a new path. We become accustomed to our surroundings, even when they are detrimental. Once seated, we have a tendency to stay. For many in an unhappy marriage, they may not even be consciously aware that they are in a bad marriage. They are simply sleepwalking through life, acting without thought and reacting out of routine. Those that are on automatic pilot stay in their marriages, not out of intention, but out of inattention.

6 – Fear of Judgment

Those that choose to divorce definitely face judgment from others. We may be viewed as weak, impulsive or unwilling to put in the hard work and persevere. If you’re concerned about the negative response from others, you may choose to stay quietly unhappy than risk the public humiliation. We not only fear the judgment of others, we also want to avoid self-judgment when we believe that we have failed. Few of us go into marriage with the thought of divorce on our minds. And it can be difficult to admit that we make a mistake – either in our choice of mate or in how we treated them once married. And so sometimes, it seems safer to stay in denial.

7 – A Belief They Cannot Do Any Better

When you struggle to love yourself, you struggle to understand what you deserve. And if you’re in an unhappy marriage where your partner consistently dismisses or belittles you, this insecurity will only grow. Sometimes we stay in a bad situation because we believe that we deserve to be unhappy or perhaps even punished for some perceived wrongdoing or shortcoming. And that becomes even more true when we listen to our partner’s voice more than we trust our own.

8 – Because They Don’t Want to Cause Pain

One of the hardest things in life is to look into the face of someone you care about as you tell them something that will cause them pain. And it’s even harder if you’re the source of the pain. Sometimes people stay in an unhappy marriage because they would rather take the pain upon themselves than to transfer it to another.

9 – A Fear of Retaliation

One of the saddest reasons that some elect to stay in an unhappy marriage is that they fear the retaliation of their spouse if they choose to end the marriage. Perhaps the spouse has threatened to withhold financial support, isolate the other parent from the children or even suggested bodily harm. No matter the threat, it is a type of marital terrorism used to imprison the other. If this is your situation, please seek guidance before you assume that you are stuck.

Ultimately, the decision if – and when – to end a marriage is a highly personal choice. If you’re struggling with that decision, here are 9 questions to ask yourself.


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For a Successful Marriage Life! apnahumsafar is best marriage bureau

For a Successful Marriage Life!

Marriage is a fear not just for women but also for men. Men, as well, take multi fold responsibilities and build many plans and dreams on the corner of their heart. While a woman thinks of how to build her family, a man becomes lost in thoughts as in how to balance his finances and still doesn’t fail to make every member in his family happy. The real beauty they’re! For a happy marriage, it needs effort from both, the men and women. There are some tips for successful marriage life by apnahumsafar.com

Adjustment.

Respect each other’s choice regardless of who is right or who is wrong. You’re not into a war to decide who wins. It’s a feeling and a different idea from both sides. When one is so strong with what they say, don’t keep arguing on the thing. It’s absolutely fine to adjust and tap on their back. Value your relationship more than your ego.

Argue and Fight, but Bounce Back.

No matter how well things go between you both constantly, there will be instances where both of you will lose your mind and start arguing. It’s natural. Argue for a very short time and try to resolve the problem as soon as possible. If it feels like never-ending, both of you stop it right there and give it some time. Either one of you will understand and bounce back to normal, which will make the other understand. Things said calmly has more power to solve fights.

Be Best Friends at First Place.

This is more important. Be each other’s bestest friends. Do all that a friend does. A tease, a prank, a care, a love, and crack every possible lame jokes and laugh. Literally laugh! Lock your phone and leave the social media behind and talk looking at each other’s face. Smile and say things. Discuss about anything and nothing. It makes your relationship stronger day by day.

 Appreciate Each Other.

Even if they look bad, appreciate them, their looks, and all the little things they do. Even if there are lots of people to admire and appreciate them, they’ll look for your comment and feeling about them. Give all your love, hug them, and appreciate with all your heart.

Trust him/her. Always!

This is the foundation to build a relationship in a more mature way. Good or bad happenings, always believe your partner if you’re sure that they won’t go beyond the limits, because that’s how you have always known them from the beginning. Suspecting is a disease. Once it becomes stronger, nobody, not even you, can save your relationship. It’s like losing a real treasure for a useless imagination.

 Little Space and Privacy.

Fight as crazy as you could. But never take it to the ears of anybody. Anger and fight make you forget about your partner’s good things they possess. It is the time where you puke out all the shitty words against each other. Never ever let anybody know about it. Your fights resolve within hours but gossips go on forever. Don’t let anyone label you both as “Bad”. It’s a disrespect you show toward your relationship.

 Being Grateful and Being Sorry.

They say it’s not necessary to say ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ in a relationship. False. If is important to say ‘thank you’ for every little good thing. And, say sorry even when you make the slightest mistake.

Be Honest even when it’s Hard.

If you ever decide to commit yourself in a good life, be truthful to yourself and loyal to your spouse. Mistakes are fine. But whatever you do, let them know and never repeat it henceforth. Trust is pure and being trusted is valuable. Don’t lose that.

 Remember, Everything has a Solution.

No fight is worthy to extend it long enough or blow it huge. Everything is solvable. Sit, analyze, and talk to each other. Don’t jump to conclusions or imagine to yourself all the unwanted stuff as it will lead to unexpected misunderstandings between you both.

Be Kind to Each Other.

I know it’s more tedious to watch our words at the heat of moment. But yes. Be careful of what you say. Be kind. No matter what, be kind. Even the simplest swords of hurtful words from you can pierce them deep. It would turn into a long-lasting guilt if the one you love shed tears because of you. Be careful of what you do or say!

Marriage is a beautiful lifetime commitment. Take up the process without fear. It’s a life thriller with twists and turns. Hold hands and walk together. Carry each other with love. Hug them. Raise one another. Watch them succeed. Be their pillar. Being with that one person, you can win this world. Be better and build to be the best. Because, Love is all that you need. Love beyond limits! ?

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Things You Should Expect From Your Partner In A Relationship

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that too many expectations or unrealistic expectations always lead to disappointment in a relationship. They can break even the strongest foundation of love and destroy the relationship. So does that mean that we should completely give up and not expect anything from our partner to prevent the breakdown? No, that would be completely unrealistic and even unhealthy for a relationship. In order to have a strong and healthy relationship with your partner, there are certain expectations that are uncompromising and should never be excused. Let’s have a look at the six major expectations that you should have from your partner to make your relationship work.

1.    Priority And Importance :

 The first thing that you should expect in your relationship is to feel like a priority for your partner. You should be considered an important part of your partner’s life and should be treated as a priority before others. Sure, work, friends, family and other things are also important, but being a life partner for your beloved, you should not feel like being a second fiddle to anything. Expect the time,
attention and love of your partner in your relationship to feel like a top priority.

 

2.    Communication :

Communication is another important thing that you should expect from your partner. Not just communicating about the normal routines of life but moreover about the other important things in life. If your partner is connected to you both mentally and emotionally, communication would not be a big thing. You should expect your partner to communicate with you about everything in verbal as well as non-verbal ways. There should be a 100% open communication otherwise feelings of disconnection may creep up in the relationship.

3.    Respect :

Respect is what makes the foundation of any relationship strong. Mutual respect for the other person and his/her feelings, emotions, opinions and actions is what everyone should expect in a relationship from their partner. Your boundaries, inhibitions, values, and accomplishments, everything should be respected by your partner; after all, respect is the true sign of a healthy relationship. A genuine
respect for the other person should start growing right after matchmaking and should be nurtured even after marriage.

4.    Mutual Understanding : 

You can definitely expect an understanding of things from your partner to be on the same page with them. Mutual understanding helps you respect your partner better and lets the relationship grow stronger. A balance of understanding is important to connect with each other and know that both of you want the same thing from the relationship. Your partner should be able to understand not just your ambitions, goals and what you want from life, but also be able to understand your pain and happiness to share them with you.

5.    Affection :

We all crave for affection from our partner, don’t we? And why should we not, affection is the most important things in any relationship. It brings the feeling of being loved when the other person is showering you with affection. It is completely okay to expect affection from your partner and do the same in return. Physical signs of affection like hugging, holding hands, kissing, or even rubbing the
arms are especially important in a relationship.

6.    Support :

You should totally expect your partner to be there with you as a strong pillar of support through the thick and thin of life. Your partner should support you mentally, physically, financially, emotionally as well as spiritually whenever you need him/her. You don’t want to feel shut down by your partner whenever you look up to them for support. It is the sign of a healthy relationship that you do not feel stranded in times of need and don’t have to beg for the support of your partner when you need him/her by your side.

The happiest  couples are those who see their spouse as the best friend, a person who is always by their side in every phase of life. By making these secrets as an integral part of the married life, any P relationship becomes successful. apnahumsafar.com is best matrimonial and matrimony website in Punjab and India. best marriage bureau in Punjab.
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Top Secrets For All punjabi Couples by apnahumsafar.com

A perfect couple doesn’t fight, doesn’t argue, spends a lot of time together, is regarded as ideal by the society, and doesn’t exist! That is the truth. No relationship on earth is flawless. Furthermore, it is untrue that no couple can become perfect. A couple can become perfect by mutual respect, patience, and tons of love. By accepting each other’s flaws and appreciating for little things your partner does for you is like nurturing a garden. These small things keep away the weeds that harm the bond of love between partners. Almost every Punjabi matrimony site reveals some tips & secrets for a happy married life. Practicing them can bring positive changes in the life of a Punjabi couple for sure.

 

 

 

 

 

1. Respect Your Partner

The foremost step for making a Punjabi marriage successful is respecting the sweetheart. Individuals should never take their spouses for granted. Respecting him/her & reminding their importance in your life can enrich the relationship in several ways. Never step back in expressing gratitude to your partner. Take a pause from a hectic schedule to say ‘I Love You’ and see the relationship flourish.

2. Communicate A Lot

Lack of communication in a relationship plays the bad guy. Any Punjabi marriage can reach at the verge of a divorce if there’s a lack of communication. Listen to each other patiently and do not interrupt. Communicating with each other always helps in resolving problems a person is facing. Even while you both disagree at a point, it should be resolved by meeting in person instead of texting or over a call.

3. Don’t Be Clingy; Make Room for Separateness

Adoring your sweetheart is fine but being clingy can surely annoy him/her. It is healthy for a Punjabi bride/groom to have separate interests. For a happy married life, you should never force your partner to indulge in an activity just because you want him/her to do so. Refrain from clinging to the partner. Taking out some time for one’s own self is important to refresh the mind & body.

4. Honesty Is Essential

A Punjabi wedding cannot survive on the foundation of mistrust. At times, there are situations when your partner might not believe or does not want to hear. But, it is essential to speak the truth rather than shrouding it under a lie. The happiest couples are the ones that are honest with each other and do not hide anything.

5. Connect with families

Usually the bride is expected to set connection with the groom’s family but with the changing times it is now equally important for both partners to adjust and connect with each other’s family. Whether it is Punjabi marriage or any other wedding this is one of the most important secrets of ‘enjoying’ a happy married life. Communicating, caring and connecting with your spouse’s family lay foundation for a happy marriage.

The happiest Punjabi couples are those who see their spouse as the best friend, a person who is always by their side in every phase of life. By making these secrets as an integral part of the married life, any Punjabi wedding becomes successful. apnahumsafar.com is best matrimonial and matrimony website in Punjab and India. best marriage bureau in Punjab.

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